Consultation will help one deal with issues and problems that have effected one through their life. It will help one to gain the thinking needed to follow this new philosophy. This is only an introduction to these thoughts. More in depth understanding and thoughts will be written about each idea, theory, insight.
CONSULTATION THE FOUR LOVES
What are the four loves?
In the world people will offer love. They will offer these different loves at different times.
Understanding which love one is giving, as well as which love one is receiving, will define the boundaries of one's relationships. Most people offer these loves without even thinking about their affect on others or themselves. Most people don't understand the consequence that comes with giving any or all variations of these loves.
- The first love one will feel in their life is usually but not always:
- The second love one may receive and may feel in place of Unconditional love, or may replace it entirely, when one reaches puberty or new factors come into one's live:
- The third love can be felt to many to be like Unconditional love.
- The forth love that most people will experience.
Unconditional love.
Unconditional love is felt by most children. One's parents may give a child Unconditional love. Whether it's by choice or an evolutionary imperative. Many parents will love their children no matter how these children come to them at birth. However it's not only parents that will give children or at least infants this instant love and support. Many people will protect, sacrifice, and love a child that isn't theirs just because of this natural need to do so. However most people will not have this love for children after the child has passed a certain age.
Puberty is the beginning of a loss of one's Unconditional love and the beginning of more turmoil for the child by it's own choices of expression or from others. The parents of the child may never stop having this Unconditional love no matter the age, sex, or choices the child makes. However in most other relationships this love will not exist or be very rare.
To love others unconditionally no matter who or what they are is a hard and daunting endeavor. When judging a person's actions they are judging the person. Making unconditional love difficult. One has to love the individual yet separate them from their actions, and or circumstances.
Feeling Unconditional love for oneself seems to escape many people. Many feel it is a form of vanity to love themself. Or worse they don't think they are worthy of such love. It is virtually impossible to accept love in adulthood if one doesn't think they are even worthy of it from themself.
Obligational love.
Some parents may feel they are obligated to take care of their children. Some may do this with love and joy. Others may do it with disdain, anger, and a sense that the child owes them. Obligational love happen often and doesn't have to be a negative thing. However when it is, the child may be neglected, mistreated or abused. Many people may feel obligated to love another because they have a sense of being "family" this is not a bad thing. It only shows some weakness in that being family some may not come to learn about the individual.Some may expect things from another, good or bad, simply because one is related. Some give to other simply because of the label, family. This can be a huge support system or if taken advantage of a huge burden and source of great emotional angst and lack of trust.
Obligational love can go further in the sense of a larger "family" or society. It is the basis of any group or institution that uses words like duty or patriot.
Accepting love.
However Accepting love is more of an individual's choice to accept the circumstances of life. When one has Accepting love nothing that happens will ever take away their happiness. They realize that life will always change. However they don't have to change with the situations. One chooses the state of their being. One accepts and doesn't fight what is... what is, is.
This is one of the must difficult loves for many to have and live with. It is virtually impossible for one to have Accepting love without having Unconditional love for oneself.
Possessive love.
From the moment many are born they feel Possessive love. The family takes possession of the child. You are their child. So you should do as they say or are told. Of course this possession is partly to protect the child from the dangers of unknowns. Possessive love also helps shape one's identity. One knows what group they belong too. People define themselves by the groups that take possession of them in family, cultures, and societies. No matter if these group are a negative or positive influence. This love shapes people thinking and habits more than any other. These possessive feeling never end and continue in other relationships.
Many relationships take on possessive feeling... some become obsessive. Many of one's family, friends, and lovers will take a possessive stance in regard to sharing their "love". Most never say that they feel they own you, or even think it but that is what this thinking process represents. It is a state where one thinks, I provide or give, think or feel this way about you so you belong to me.
One can see the results of such love all around them. The idea of marriage is a direct creation of these feelings. Possessive love given to children may have protect them from dangerous unknowns. However in later life in relationships Possessive love is the result or creation of great emotional turmoil. One wants to be possessed and/or be the possessor. When the love they feel is not reciprocated it can at the least lead to emotional distraught and at the most great harm to oneself or others.
Possessive and Obligational love should be done in moderation.
While Unconditional and Accepting love can be allowed to flourish to the full grace one can bring forth.
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